


Family don't end with blood

by Party_Barnes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Brotherly Love, Comforting Dean, Emotional Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Family, Grief/Mourning, Grieving Dean, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Past Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:52:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1857054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Party_Barnes/pseuds/Party_Barnes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean realises his feelings for Cas after Cas passes away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Family don't end with blood

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling emotional so I thought I would write some sad, grieving Dean.

The angelic scent of Castiel still lingered on his sheets. The room was different to what Dean had expected, there were more belongings scattered around than he thought Cas possessed. His and Cas's rooms were almost identical in size and shape, even the furniture was the same - minus Dean's memory foam mattress.

Dean tugged at the sleeves of his flannel shirt before kicking off his heavy biker boots at the foot of the bed and placing them neatly beside each other; he knew how much Cas hated mess. He tugged at his sleeves again and lifted himself onto the bed, curling himself into the soft pillow that Cas had once slept on. He breathed in deep, taking in every remaining scent of Castiel's purity and beautiful mess. Dean traced his fingers along the seam of the sheet and pushed a hard lump down his throat. 

After a few minutes of staring at the faded white sheet that lay beneath him, Dean finally glanced up to the mirror beside the bed - careful to avoid his reflection. But it wasn't his reflection that caught his eye. It was the small, square piece of card that was slotted into the frame of the mirror. Reaching up to carefully pluck the card from its place, he noticed the people in the photograph he was now holding. Beside an extremely tired looking Sam stood Dean and Cas, Dean's arm draped loosely over Cas's shoulder. Behind them was the worlds largest ball of twine, something the Winchester brothers had seen many times before. 

They had all driven out that day, Dean, Cas, Bobby and Sam behind the drivers seat. The overexcited angel had made them all laugh then, but the beautifully mesmerised grin that plastered Cas's face in the photo made Dean smile as he smoothed his thumb over the glossy card. As he leaned to place the photo back into it's resting place, it slipped and landed face down on the floor. Dean picked it back up and read the newly revealed inscription on the back out loud to himself.

"As Bobby once said, Family don't end with blood. And this is my family." It made him smile to begin with, but the hard ache in his stomach soon sent his body into a writhing mess as he tried to conceal the pain. It was a lot for Dean to handle. Sure, he had had people die on him before - important people at that - but none of them had ever made Dean feel like Cas made him feel. 

He recalled the time when he had allowed Gadreel to take over his brothers body. He was so close to his breaking point, and Cas pulled him back somehow. With a silly joke about being 'trusting' Dean finally realised that it was Cas he trusted the most. The angel had deceived him, lied to him and sent his brother off on a journey through crazy town, but there was nothing that could keep Dean mad at him. He didn't know what it was, because he had never felt anything like it before, never with anyone but Sam. He knew, he knew that if he had been given the chance, he would have given his life to save Castiel. 

It was only a few weeks before the incident that Dean noticed it, when he knew for sure. He had been cooking breakfast for himself when he returned from the kitchen to find Sam and Cas sitting at the table. Sam had been talking when he came in, but it was Cas that a Dean was looking at. He noticed the way he was laughing, throwing his head back and displaying the entire top row of his perfect teeth. The grooves in his neck were visible and his shoulder blades made the shape of wings, something that made Cas beautiful. Dean could feel his heart speeding up, and his stomach clenching around the thought. It was then that he could see the world revolving in Castiel's eyes, and he could feel Cas revolving in his. 

And he never got the chance to tell him. Dean choked out the lump and allowed himself to fall apart on Cas's bed. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his face into his folded arms. The sobbing took over quickly, consuming him and everything he had that kept him from screaming Cas's name loud enough to snatch him back from the oblivion that had stolen him. 

"Dean!" Sam yelled, rushing to his side and clutching his shoulders with as much force as he could, trying to pull Dean out of his despair by sheer force. 

"I didn't tell him." Dean choked from between his knees. He didn't give into Sam's tugs, he just simply locked himself in a room. A room with Cas. 

"I couldn't tell you." He whispered into the empty room, for only Cas to hear. His consciousness could still feel Sam trying to rip him away from his own mind, but Dean continued to reach out to his angel. "I needed - I need to tell you." His voice was cracking now as he stood face to face with the one who he longed to see, to hold.

"Then tell me." Cas whispered, taking Dean's face into his caring hands. 

"I-" Dean closed his eyes and turned his cheek into Cas's palm, taking in his luxurious scent. "I love you." He whispered. It was like a weight lifting from his chest, freeing him from it's deadly grip.

"I love you too." Cas whispered in return, pressing his lips against Dean's forehead. Sam's voice began to bellow into the room and Dean could feel himself being torn back into reality. 

"Don't leave me!" He pleaded, reaching out to grip Cas's wrist. 

"I love you." Cas said, louder this time as he bent to kiss Dean's hand before pushing him back into Sam's arms. 

Dean loosened his muscles and allowed his body to relax as Sam pulled him into a tight embrace. 

"It's okay, I miss him too." He assured, stroking Dean's hair and letting him sob into his shoulder.

"It's fine, I told him." Dean whispered, his voice muffled by Sam's shoulder.

"Told who?" Sam asked, confused.

"Cas. I told him."

"Told him what?"

"He knows. He knows because we're his family."

**Author's Note:**

> All of the parts where Dean is talking with Cas is all in his head.


End file.
